Zen-Mother

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Today is one of those sappy days where you reflect on all that you have and feel an immense amount of gratitude. Yeah, I am sick mommy lately but I can still be grateful for all that I have right? Heck yeah! I will start with my oldest son Payton.

Payton is 5 years old and will turn 6 in just a few months. I love his incredible spirit that cannot be broken. Yes, many times it is this spirit that causes us to bump heads alot but I am glad that he is strong because I forsee that he has many obstacles to overcome in the future and his strength will be a blessing. My husband is pretty passive so I I know his strength comes from me, so how can I not love that?

I love that wakes up in a good mood every morning with hugs and kisses to go around.

I love that wishes upon a star most nights before bed.

I love that he takes his epilepsy medication with a good attitude…even though I am certain it tastes horrible.

I love that he adores playing outdoors, collecting bugs, and adventuring.

I love that fact that he already loves to travel and speaks fondly of his favorite spots that usually inlcude museums in New York City, Chicago, Miami or the like. He makes his own travel plans already. He is so cultured
I love the fact that he loves the ocean and the water. He also adores seafood and eats squid, octopus, lobster, crab, mussles, and oysters with gusto.

I love that he loves astronomy like me. I always wanted to work for NASA, maybe someday he will.

I love how he is almost never afraid of anything.

I love how attached he is to his nana (my mom).

I love how he hugs and kisses his baby brother…and Paige too if she would let him.

I love you Payton Maclivane….the sun rises and sets with you.

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Last week I got the best set from Mother Culture Herbs and Batik Bum Diapers. It consists of a fitted paisley diaper with an orange inner and snap in soaker, a patchwork fleece cover, and a tie dye T-shirt with a peace sign on the front in the same paisley fabric as the diaper. SO ADORABLE!! Well, Parker and I really like the set and he wears them as soon as they are fresh from the dryer. The patchwork cover is my favorite….it is just such a clever concept and really quite attractive. Here are some pics:

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Well I am freakin tired of being sick mommy. I used to be a relatively healthy gal….never a major illness, never a broken bone.What I am now is a far cry from that. When I became pregnant with Parker my normal gyno tests turned up my first surprise. Then half way through the pregnancy my digestive system and bowels went on strike. They have yet to return to duty. I also have gall bladder problems. Virtually every day I am in pain or sick in some way. I have about 15 different prescription meds in my cabinet, my hair is falling out in clumps, and I am often afraid to leave the house so that I won’t embarrass myself by curling up in a fetal position at Kroger. Emergency room visits are common now…like a couple times a month when I am in so much pain that only IV morphine or the like will suffice. As I write this I am cringing. Today has not been a good day. When will my alter ego…aka sick mommy go away. Will she ever go away? That question terrifies me.

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